Tuesday, February 11, 2014


I love physical challenges like Pull Ups For Zoe because you’re taken to places you never expect.  Grinding things out when you’re empty and depleted opens up opportunities to truly transform who you are at the core.
This year during my “defeated” phase (after a few hundred reps when reality set in that I wasn’t hitting my mark) I started reflecting on relationships.  Not too many people have my back through the good and the bad, wins or losses, champ status or chump status.

But my family does. 

They are there for me no matter what.  And I want them to always know that I'm there for them too.

So here are two immediate ways I plan to BE A BETTER HUSBAND:

These darn IPhones, I’m telling you what, can literally be the best things ever invented and at the same time the most self-destructive. I find myself checking texts and emails just to check them. It seems like it’s in my hand all day, and it gets in the way of communication and attention to my loved ones right in front of me.

So we created a concept last week called THE PHONE BIN.  From now on, the phones are in the PHONE BIN while we’re home.  We can’t pick them up unless during allotted work time blocks of 6-7am; 1-2pm; and some nights from 8-9pm.  It may sound silly, but with phone distractions out of the way, my focus can go on what’s important. I can look for an opportunity to play with my son. I can answer the question that my wife asks from the other room. I can break bread with my family with my undivided attention on how their day went.

It’s a lie when I think people can’t wait for a response. I know they can because they get it, they’re busy too.  It’s interesting how we can come up Customer Service rules of getting back to customers as soon as possible at the workplace. If you can do it at work, you can and should do it at home. And in my opinion, if I haven’t connected with my wife in 15 hours, then I should start with her before anyone.

Date nights are something I’ve been trying to get better at for years now.  The problem here is not enjoying them, it’s planning them. For some reason it means the world to Amber if I initiate the idea and arrange details---babysitter, restaurant, movie, time, day, etc.

It’s funny, as a business owner I create and organize many things---training sessions, workouts, charity events, speeches, birthday parties, you name it. But yet I seem to fail at planning family activities, especially something that’s essential to a successful marriage. 

For us, we have to be creative.  It may mean date breakfast or date lunch since we coach evening workouts and have a newborn that we’re still not comfortable leaving at bed time. It may only be an hour or two, but the escape to be one on one, remembering we are still a couple before anything else, is crucial.

I'm not saying I’m right. I’m just saying these are two areas that I identified as needing major improvement on my part. I’m not saying I’ll nail these right away either, but I’m going to give it my all out effort.

I like to air my dirty laundry because it holds me accountable. You have my permission to check in with me about if I planned those date nights! And who knows, when I put myself out there, it may help freshen another’s dirty laundry too.

When we got married our pastor said something that we'll forever hold onto.  He said, “Theo and Amber, I don't want you guys to have a GOOD marriage. I want you to have the BEST one.”

It may be a long journey, and sure as heck no fairy tale, but we’re fighters and we’ll continue to work on making our marriage better together.

Because at the end of the day, it’s the one thing we know without a doubt, is WORTH FIGHTING FOR.

Life is not about you,
Coach Theo

No comments:

Post a Comment