"WE ARE NOT A
PERFECT FAMILY, AND WILL NEVER PRETEND TO BE."
Pictures can be
deceiving. Social media posts can
make you think that life is so much greener in other's lives. I hope you never
take us that way.
If you're like us,
you've probably found yourself saying multiple times, "If only there were
television cameras following us right now we would be the next best reality TV
show!"
We are crazy. I'm
singing made up lyrics to songs while trying to do the whip and the nae nae,
while Gio is jumping off of furniture shooting Nerf darts at the window, and
the baby is crying for no reason, because she does that. Meanwhile we were
supposed to be getting ready, so mommy is telling us her heart is pounding out
of her chest because we are driving her nutz and not listening to her! Thirty
minutes later we walk into church with a smile on our face like nothing
happened.
None of us are perfect.
The quicker we realize that, the better. Our family is so dysfunctional and I
think what helps me is knowing that ALL others are too. In fact I don’t even
know why I’m writing this blog other than to assure you that you’re not alone
either, in case you didn’t know that already.
The good news is we don’t
have to put up a front. To do so is detrimental and does more harm than good. I
read this the other day in It Is Finished,
by Tullian Tchividijian, “Because of the
gospel, we have nothing to prove or protect. We can stop pretending. We can
take off our masks and be real. The gospel frees us from trying to impress
people, appease people, or measure up for people. The gospel frees us from
trying to control what other people think about us.”
This is not an excuse to
settle on that. This just provides freedom and liberation. Like the title
spells out, It. Is. Finished. Jesus died
on the cross. He is perfection. He paved the way. We can’t do anything to
obtain any more favor in His eyes. We can’t become perfect, ever. But it doesn’t
mean we don’t constantly work to improve ourselves and get better, on a daily
basis, always.
To offer some action
steps I will take what I write about in my book, Conversations With Gio,
and add some quick thoughts.
When our family dynamics
are dysfunctional, I need some help from Triple AAA:
1. AWARENESS
What’s happening here? Reflect on it. For example, this is where I ask, “Am I a dummy and did I just said something stupid to my wife?”
What’s happening here? Reflect on it. For example, this is where I ask, “Am I a dummy and did I just said something stupid to my wife?”
2. ACCEPTANCE
Ok, so now I know what
happened and it’s time to acknowledge it. I can’t just sweep it under the rug
and try to move on.
- Repent: “I am a dummy and I did just say something stupid to my wife.”
- Ask for forgiveness: from God and my family.
- Seek guidance, strength, and change: “God, if it is me and I do need to change something, show me how and help me do it!”
3. AWAKENING
What are you going to do
about it? Time to put it into action and actually DO IT.
Sometimes things aren’t
always as tangible and easy to figure out. At minimum, PRAY FOR MY FAMILY. A huge flaw of mine is to think that I
can change them. I can’t. All I can be is the leader and example and that’s
what I need to focus on, doing my part. I need to pray for that first. For them, I need to pray hard that if
something does need to change in their hearts, that it does. "
I don’t have it all down
yet, but I’ll keep trying. And as I’m driving home from the gym the other day, one of my favorite new songs came on my playlist and gave me more reason to….
"No matter the
bumps
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless.
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless."
No matter the bruises
No matter the scars
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless.
No matter the hurt
Or how deep the wound is
No matter the pain
Still the truth is
The cross has made
The cross has made you flawless."
(Mercy Me,
"Flawless")
We’re all damaged goods.
But there’s peace in knowing that in His eyes, no matter what happens or what
we do, His work has made us flawless.
The pressure is off.
Time to step it up and
not just be great families anymore, but the best families we can be.
Because Jesus loved us, He died for us. Because we love our families so much, we need to die for them. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Phil 1:21)
Because Jesus loved us, He died for us. Because we love our families so much, we need to die for them. "For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Phil 1:21)
The sooner we get some
Triple AAA, the sooner we can put the function back in our dysfunction and do just that.
And when we do, it may
be an absolute game-changer for us and everyone in our lives.
It's not about me,
Coach Theo
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