HOW MY DAUGHTER IS MAKING ME A BETTER HUSBAND

HOW MY DAUGHTER IS MAKING ME A BETTER HUSBAND

Having a daughter is teaching me a lot about my wife. I’m seeing that women truly are completely different than we are, from day one. Their wiring is different, their needs are different, and consequently, my response and interactions with them have to be different.

Here are some things that I’m learning from Alana that will hopefully help me treat my wife better:

1. BE SLOW TO SPEAK AND QUICK TO HOLD.

When my baby girl is crying she just needs me to hold her. No words needed Theo. She just wants you to comfort her. Listen and don't always worry about trying to figure out an answer. Gio was pretty chill and relaxed as a baby. I can't put Alana down for a few minutes before she's cranking for her daddy or mommy. Sitting in my lap, facing away is how it has to be. Why? Doesn't matter. Just do it because she wants it that way. 

2. WHEN SHE'S UPSET, GIVE HER FOOD.

Sugar lows can cause drastic changes in her behavior. Don’t take it personal.  They will say things and do things that they don't mean. I once stuck a peppermint patty in Amber's mouth when she was having a meltdown. Today I put a bottle in Alana's. Both immediately calmed down.

3. IF SHE DOESN'T WANT THE OATMEAL, GIVE HER THE FRIGGIN' APPLES.

I used to argue with Gio, "You need this oatmeal. It will give you strong muscles and keep you healthy." When Alana was fussing this morning about the consistency of her cereal, "Ok. Just eat the apples then honey." My Uncle Dick once told me, "You can either be happy or right in your marriage. I'd choose to be happy." Looks like girls deserve their way. Period. 

4. SHE DOESN'T NEED TO TOUGHEN UP.
I feel bad for the all the times that I tell Amber to toughen up. To a point it's needed. Of course I want her and Alana to be strong and not take things so personal, so they can be more resilient to what the world throws at them.  But no, they don't need to be mentally tougher. They don't have to suck it up. I am not going to expect them to quit being so emotional. That's their genetic make-up and why they're so empathetic and such great care-takers. (By the way, I'm not saying women aren't strong. I'm saying I'm dropping my wrestling mentality of expecting them to respond like a renegade warrior.) Unless I can handle the hormones like they do, then I need to check myself before I wreck myself.

5. MAYBE IT'S ALL ABOUT HER?

In Gio’s book Conversations With Gio, I tell him that in and out of the house, it’s never about him. But for Alana, I think it’s different---while in this house at least. She gets what she wants, when she wants, and how she wants it. I have no problem with putting her on a pedestal and treating her like royalty. Why won't I do the same with my wife?  

It's funny, I said Gio was the biggest life-changer. When Alana was born, I wondered how she could possibly change me even more.

Well, I'm starting to see the possibilities each day.

Looks like it's time to start writing Conversations With Alana.

It may just be an absolute game-changer.

But I think I'll be calling in the wifey for some assistance!

It's not about me.

Coach Theo

DANG YOU THIN MINTS: HOW I WON'T LET YOU WIN

It was a stare down between me and the box of cookies. These delicatessens arrived a few days earlier, along with three friends: Tagalongs, Samoas, and Savannah Smiles.  Those weren't a big deal. I broke and ate some, but I bounced back quickly. I wasn’t going break again today.  I refused to let this green box win.

I put the thin mints back in the cabinet, but then I got them out again. I walked around the living room trying to stay busy with the kids, but then I went back into the kitchen. They were there, in the house, a few feet away, and my mind knew that.  The sweat broke out, the frustration kicked in. “I don’t need them right now. But just one isn't going to hurt.”

If a trainer tells you they never eat junk food, they’re lying, or they’re not human. And you ever think that I could eat whatever I want just because I’m a trainer or because of this so-called high-metabolism that everyone talks about but in reality does not exist, then you’re mistaken. I have to work hard and be strict. But since we had the baby four months ago, I haven’t been.   So after my war with the chocolate covered crack wafers, I had to sit down and re-visit the basics.

HERE ARE THREE THINGS YOU HAVE TO REMEMBER WHEN TRYING TO EAT BETTER:

I. THERE CAN BE NO GREY AREA.
Generally, you have to make your goals black and white, leaving no room for interpretation. If you give yourself any wiggle room, you know what happens. You’ll keep going there because “I’m allowed.” “I told myself I can have one slice.” “A can of pop isn’t going to make me fat.” While in the literal sense, these statements are true. Our mind doesn’t process things the same.  You give it an inch, and it will take seven more.

So you do have to be more concrete sometimes.  I say sometimes because you may have a handle on certain foods better than others. Maybe you can have a slice of pizza and not want the whole pie. But for others, you’ll have to stay completely away.  I can’t just have five thin mints. It’s either eat the entire log, or don’t eat them at all. There’s no meeting in the middle.

MY ACTION STEP: I'M GOING TO EAT 5 THIN MINTS AND THEN THROW THE BOX AWAY.   

II.  STOP SAYING THE M-WORD
What is moderation? It's a vague word that leaves you directionless. Even Webster's doesn't know how to define it: "the quality of being moderate; restraint; avoidance of extremes or excesses; temperance." But what is extreme?

The problem with this word is it’s all relative. My moderation is different than yours, and someone else’s is different than mine. Trust me, I've used this word far too many times before and I'm guilty as charged. I'm watching how I use it now.

I may consider moderation one time a week; you may consider it once a day.  My moderation may be a cup, yours may be two bowls.  Again you have to be clear and direct here. Yes, life is short and you do have to enjoy it by indulging in the wonderfully, masterfully created, make you chase that first high every time you eat just one bite thin mints every once in awhile.  But when and where and how much?

MY ACTION STEP: I WILL EAT A LOG OF THIN MINTS ON FRIDAY NIGHT FOR MY SPLURGE DESSERT. 

III.  WILL POWER IS NOT ENOUGH
I tried putting the thin mints in the freezer. Guess what I soon found out?  They taste even better frozen! That didn't work.  You know what does? Don't bring them into the house in the first place. We always say, IF YOU DON'T BUY IT YOU WON'T EAT IT.

But I can't say no to a sweet, little, innocent girl trying to raise money for her girl scout troop. So my new tactic is either buy the cookies and give them to someone else----terrible, I know. Or give the girl scouts the money and tell them to keep the cookies. Or......

MY ACTION STEP: BRING THEM INTO THE HOUSE ONLY WHEN IT'S TIME TO EAT THEM.

You think you have enough will power? I dare you to say no when the pharmaceutical sales rep brings a tray of cheesy covered lasagna, alongside a three-layer cheesecake next time you're in the employee's lounge.  I dare you to go into a buffet and only eat from the salad bar. I double dog dare you to eat just one thin mint.

Ok, it can happen, but it's RARE, SHORT-LIVED, and NOT CONSISTENT.

All I'm saying is you for a certain period of time and to an extent, you have to SHAPE YOUR PATH AND ENVIRONMENT as much as you can, when you're trying to EAT BETTER. 

After an hour stare down, I beat the thin mints.  I put them back in the freezer and went about my day.

But then I came home later.....

And smashed them.

I lost the battle because they were still in my house.

The second box got tossed real fast.

#JUSTKEEPINGITREAL

Life is not about me. 

Coach Theo

FROM OUR BACKYARD TO SOLD OUT, THE FMU STORY NOT MANY KNOW

I left my 9:30am workout today after working out with a bunch of awesome ladies. On the way home I reflected; what a life. Not just because I worked out with fifteen women, but because I’m leaving our gym, to go home with the family for lunch, to come back this afternoon and hang with 15 awesome little kids, then 10 of my big kids, then another group of fantastic adults, then one of my favorite private training clients ever, to cap off the night.

Business has been booming lately.  My kid’s camps have been sold out all school year.  Three out of four of our summer camps are already sold out.  Now some of our adult classes are selling out too.

It’s hard to believe that only a little over four years ago we started in our backyard.

Three kids.

An empty field.

Some speed cones.

The country was in a recession.  The unemployment rate was skyrocketing. People were begging for jobs.

We leapt.

We went two months without a dime coming in.

We emptied our savings account.

I worked at a car wash.

Food stamps saved us for two months.

Other than that, we never borrowed a DIME. Never took out a loan. Never charged a credit card.  

I’m not writing this article to glorify our story. I’m writing it to encourage you to start writing yours.  If we can do it, anyone can.

Here are some things we've learned along the way that may help:

1. STOP DREAMING AND TAKE ACTION ALREADY.

Dream big. Draw up ideas. Map out your vision. But eventually you need to start taking steps.  You can't sit back and wait for your dreams to come true----you need to make them come true.  One of my favorite sayings is "WHEN CALLED, FOLLOW."  Amber and I felt the nudge and we kept seeing the signs. It came down to wanting to write a story to Gio.  If we're going to tell him to take risks and follow his passion, then we need to live that out by example as well. We ate dinner with our friends one evening and told them about our idea. Amber looked at me and said, "No more waiting Theo. You can leave your job now. Let's do it."  Well, obviously you know who wears the pants in this relationship.  

2. WHEN SOMETHING IS THAT IMPORTANT, YOU CAN'T GIVE UP.
Life isn't always sunshine and rainbows (Rocky Balboa).  Of course it's going to be hard. You will hit road blocks. No one said it would be easy.  But when life gives you lemons, you need to eat them and keep plowing forward. I remember sitting on my porch step on a warm fall day in October. Are you kidding me?  A Master’s Degree. An assistant director of an organization. An ex-division I college wrestler.  Now I'm broke as a joke and not sure where the next penny is coming from.  I've got a 6-month old relying on me. My wife must think I'm a loser. All those haters will be right.  What the hell did I do?

And then, at that moment, still and calm with no one around, one of the most convicting messages came: "This is where true faith lies. You can't see.  You don't know. You have doubt. And even though you can go do something else and get your family back to a comfortable level again, you can't take the easy way out. You need to do this. If you trust, you will."

No matter how difficult something is, if it means that much to you and others and most importantly, you believe you're supposed to do it, YOU CAN'T GIVE UP.

3. IT'S NOT ABOUT GETTING WHAT YOU WANT, IT'S ABOUT PROVIDING OTHERS WITH WHAT THEY NEED.

I'm done with the messages of working hard so you can play harder. It's not about building a business so you can earn more for yourself.  I can't stand these pyramid scheme businesses that always play with your emotions by promising you the reality of a BMW, a trip to the Bahamas, more monthly income so you can enjoy everything you want in life.  I call BS. If that's why you're building a business, then you're in it for the wrong reasons.  Even if you end up making lots of money, you're missing out on way more important riches.

I've heard from many people lately that they love FMU because it's their place to escape, reprieve, and release.  Someone recently said it's a positive place that gives them an entirely different outlook on life.  My kids---I see and hear what they're surrounded by, they need this outlet.  And their smiles and energy levels while their with us say everything.  

FMU is not just about fitness and training; it's about belonging to a community of people that will help, encourage, and inspire each other to become better people inside and out.  Of course Amber and I need to make a living, but we're more concerned with providing a fresh, supportive, and positive environment that people need, which will more importantly, make some memories. 

SOLD OUT programs doesn't necessarily mean much other than our programs are sold out. Don't think I'm painting the picture here that we're some highly successful business owners making a lot of money.  (Last year's AGI was $55,000.  I'm guessing it will be a little more this year, although adding the new $3,000 overhead doesn't help too much.)

I'm also not saying that we do anything special.  Maybe SOLD OUT doesn't necessarily mean that people like us any more---it could just mean that more people don't want to work out on their own, and are finding us now.  Maybe they think we know what we're doing or something.  Maybe all my kids just love to play dodgeball after their workout.

Whatever the case....

I will NEVER FORGET WHERE WE CAME FROM.

I will NEVER FORGET WHO BROUGHT US HERE.

I will NEVER THINK IT'S ABOUT ME.

I will ALWAYS REMEMBER IT'S ABOUT THEM.

And at night, I rest in peace knowing that I do what I love and I love what I do.  I'm paving a path for my children to follow.  I'm honoring God by listening to His call.  And even if I create some impact in at least one person out there....then it's all worth it.

That right there, is something that no dollar amount could ever provide.

What a life.

It's time to keep leaping.

Life is not about me,

Coach Theo

WHY YOU SHOULDN'T SEEK SORENESS

I like to follow themes before I post a blog. Lately the theme around me has been SORENESS.

Here’s what I’ve been hearing:

“I like being sore because it means I had a tough workout.”

“I'm not getting sore anymore, am I not working hard enough?”

“When I get sore, I know I'm getting results.”

We all like that sore feeling. Something about it makes us feel good. I used to use my soreness as a measurement of a successful workout. In fact, I used to say that I didn't deserve true relaxation until my entire body was sore head to toe from an extreme event. Ridiculous may be the term for that.

But what really triggered me to post this was hearing some of my middle school YOUTH talk about how they like to be sore because it means they had a good workout.  If they think that, then you know adults think that, because that’s most likely where the misinformation is trickling down from.

So I just want to make sure I do my part and emphasize that: SORENESS DOES NOT EQUAL EFFECTIVENESS.

We could pull some research here to prove it, but let’s just fall back on common sense.

1. My back was sore from shoveling snow for ten minutes.

2. Amber was sore in her arm from playing dodgeball this week.

3. I was extremely sore from doing 1000 pull-ups.

I wouldn’t consider any of the above an “effective” workout.  Soreness doesn’t necessarily mean too much other than, YOU DID SOMETHING YOUR BODY WASN’T USED TO.

Wonder if I told you instead of chasing soreness, to chase the opposite---not being sore?  The goal really, when seeking phenomenal shape and conditioning, is to do just that.  Then you can perform better in subsequent workouts and not have to sit out for a few days because you can't move. It’s a good sign to not be sore because it means you’re conditioning your body right and you're getting in better shape.  

Ways to Reduce Soreness:

1. Active Warm-up.

2. Foam roll before and after your workouts.

3. Hydrate adequately.

4. 7-8 hours of sleep each night.

5. Quality before, during, and after workout nutrition.
6. Increase reps and loads gradually and progressively.
7. Be CONSISTENT.

I’m not saying it’s a bad thing to be sore.  It’s going to happen. You’ll probably notice that you feel it more after the first week of a new routine.  You may feel light soreness after the second week. But by the third, you may not feel much at all.  This is because you built your body up right and now your muscles are used to the regimen.

I just want you to look at soreness differently.  You shouldn't seek it as a determinant of quality workout. I don't want you to think that if you're not sore then you're not doing things right. I really don't want you to become one of those people who bounce around from workout to workout, gym to gym, infomercial to infomercial, looking for the right potion. Then you may start doing some crazy, extreme stuff that does no good for you in the long run.

Your mind has a lot of power over your results. Understand and BELIEVE in what you're doing and why you're doing it and it will benefit you greatly.

PERCEPTION. Once it changes so does your life. 

And your workouts.

Life is not about me,
Coach Theo

FMU Champs of the Month: John, Blake, Mike & Patty

JOHN BZOVI - INSPIRE GROUP
This little hockey stud is one of the coolest kids to be around. We let him into our program at only 5 years old because of how mature he is. The first day he came into the gym, I looked back after talking with his mom for a minute, and he was already at the top of the rope climb!  Just turning 6, he's still one of the youngest in our programs. He does an excellent job listening, following instructions, being kind and helpful to others, and works hard every session. And he has no problem nailing our fitness challenges! In fact, he just earned WHITE Level Wristband already.   But what we love most about him is his personality. Character is everything, and this little guy has a lot of it! Congrats John for being our Inspire Champ of the Month.

BLAKE BELLONE - IGNITE 1 GROUP
Blake is in 7th grade at Westlake Middle School. What I love about Blake is he loves to have fun but he also knows when it's time to take care of business---which serves as a great example to kids his age.  As soon as we released the Wristband Level System, he was all over it. He was our first YOUTH in all ages to earn the first wristband. He is at his Grey 1 and almost at Grey 2 already.  I've caught Blake multiple times helping other kids during our workouts and you'll always catch a SMILE on this guy's face. So glad he's apart of FMU. Congrats Blake for being our IGNITE Champ of the Month.

MIKE & PATTY YAGER - ADULT GROUP
You have to see these two in action----they prove that age DOES NOT MATTER.  They have no problem sharing that they are one of the oldest in the group, but you would never know. They keep some of us young bucks trying hard to keep up with them!  They've been working out with us for about 2 years now.  Their story is really cool. Before they came to us, Patty wasn't doing much for exercise and she said she was extremely nervous to try out our classes.  Mike at one point had such bad back issues that he was literally immobile on his bed, not able to move.  Not too long after Patty started, she eventually encouraged Mike to give it a shot. He came in, and they've been with us ever since. Let's not forget how awesome it is that as a couple they attend consistently, 3x a week, to work out together. They are also very involved with our church and do a lot for others. AN EXAMPLE they are to all of us. God bless you guys. Congrats on this long overdue #CHAMPSTATUS.